


Once

by HoshisamaValmor (HannibalCatharsis)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ACWNR, Canon Compliant, First Meetings, I tag it eruri because I want to, also bros Erwin and Mike, because that's nostalgy too, do you realize that out of five characters in this story there's one left, eruri - free form, nostalgic fic, parallel to chapter 84, that's the reason for the fic, you can read it any way you like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 02:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7740730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibalCatharsis/pseuds/HoshisamaValmor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What first meetings are, and what they turn into. In other words, a small nostalgy fic for the Commander, events leading to and the scene of A Choice with no Regrets when Erwin and Levi met the first time. Chapter 2 follows Levi after that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am running out of time, have too much to do and yet nostalgy is important to me. So a nostalgic fic it is.
> 
> This take place immediately before the beginning of No Regrets/A Choice with no Regrets and goes to the scene of them meeting. I had no internet access while writing, so I couldn't confirm the OVA but I loosely used the manga and my memory for lines and whatnot with my own liberties.
> 
> Second chapter follows Levi immediately afterwards, stepping out of the Underground for the first time.
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Shingeki no Kyojin. Thank you Isayama.

 In the most direct way and in the shortest number of words, this was a world apart.

In all honesty, Erwin expected the smell to be worse. This was the third time he climbed down these stairs, and his opinion hadn't changed. The air was definitely heavier, more humid and sprayed by more than dust and smoke, but in some parts of his imagination he expected the stench of sewers, bodily fluids, corpses and disease to be contaminating every breath of little oxygen he could get, and that wasn't as close to the truth as he thought.

It wasn't completely off, either. Mike, however, seemed to have entered Erwin's most grotesque imaginings, with his sensitive nose catching every nuance of smell Erwin was mostly and gladly oblivious to.

"I want this mission over quickly," he said for the third time in the past minutes. Mike had accompained Erwin each time they were on the Underground, and that phrase was constant. "I don't want to spend a single second here longer than necessary. I know you grow to be immune to smell, but this is..."

"I didn't tell you before, did I. I insisted in coming to the Underground."

"Yes, I realized you did, and I sure as hell wanted to ask you why, but I didn't want to open my mouth too often in this place. I just hope I won't be contaminated for life for being here all these times."

"I always wanted to come down here as a child."

Mike didn't hide his opinion on the confession with a short bewildered laugh.

"Yes, Mike?" Erwin asked, already entertained by his friend's reaction. It was just like so many reactions he had got before, he was used to it.

"You are just about the only person I know that would ever say that. Hundreds, thousands of people strive to get _out_ of here all their lives, and you want to come down here instead. Only you, Erwin."

"If it makes me less strange, I wanted to see both the impressive achievement of humanity in building this place, and the utter revulsion and inhumanity in maintaining it."

Mike didn't sound altogether satisfied with the answer, but it was the best Erwin could give him. And it was the truth. He often imagined as a child what this underground place would look like, how would the people here look after years without natural light, what the landscape of the city would be. He never cared if it was a morbid wish. All he ever had were morbid and feint wishes.

He got to see all of that, and prove the impressiveness and inhumanity of it just like he had always considered. Human reaction to these circumstances was just equally impressive and expected, daily strifes for food and survival over each other made clear each time he turned a road of this place. How many people had died moments after he had walked a certain location? It was a morbid consideration.

He had also seen how strife brought talent. Those three Underground thugs he and Mike happened to witness, holding military equipment and using it with expertise likely to put several active militaries to shame. Erwin wasn't about to let that talent sink and fall lost in oblivion beneath the grounds of Wall Sina.

These thieves might be dangerous. They might be valuable or disposable for the military, assessments yet to be made (even though Erwin had the outcome quite mapped), but the dispatched squad composed by himself, Mike and two more Survey Corps members would be more than enough to deal with whichever skills these Underground criminals could have mastered. Orders would have been reason enough for Erwin to be here, naturally, but he would have insisted to be present in this mission even if Commander Shadis had dismissed him from it.

How befitting that these thugs had been chosen. Erwin's intentions held more motives than talent scavaging.

He was here, of course, because of Nicholas Lobov. Any person that questioned any form of authority or higher social status would always be considered nuisances of easy riddance for those people _'above'_ that held that invisible and intangible right to rule life and death of those they wished.

Did this analogy apply to these people from the Underground? Were these people here seen as easily disposable flesh after desired needs had been met, or if they became any form of nuisance?

Of course they were. Even more so than Erwin, if he considered the matter for just one second. They were denied even the sky; they were silently expected to die, held no rights whatsoever for the people _above_. Hence Lobov and the likes of his schemes. Both Erwin and these Underground people were a hierarchy of disposable trash, easier to get rid of each step you climbed down.

Well, he was here to prove Lobov wrong. He was curious to see what the perpetrators of his future planned execution would prove too.

"These MPs won't be happy if we find out some of them are founding these thugs," Mike said under his breath on the last steps of the staircase. "3DMG isn't exactly a toy some brats from the Underground can play with. I don't buy that they stole it and just learned on their own."

"I don't believe it, either. But either way, they _know_ how to use it. I am intrigued."

" _Intrigued_ , meaning you're already planning to get them to join us as soon as they're captured. You must think you fool me with that angel face like you do everyone else, Erwin."

Erwin smiled.

"I don't know how the high ups even considered the possibility," Mike added. "But you must be forgetting insubordination is a crime. Street thugs don't answer to orders."

"They do, like everyone else. And they will, if they chose to do so."

The squad was escorted down another staircase and through a few streets and alleyways by a couple of Military Police, leading them to one of their many headquarters in the Underground. As it was above ground, the MPs here weren't too satisfied and pleased with their presence, but not only was it commonplace, it also meant they wouldn't be stalled for whichever reason.

"We know these thugs," One of the higher ranked officer said, an older man with a distasteful face. "Rats that learned how to fly. They keep evading us and rats as they are, live in nests where we can't easily access. Now that they can fly, they can just shit all over us even more. That equipment is ours, don't forget."

"We most certainly won't. One of our orders is to assess where they got their equipment from," Erwin said.

"That's a stupid ass question. They stole it."

"That much is obvious, sir, but you haven't been able to pinpoint from which headquarters' you're short of equipment."

The MP scoffed. "Well, we'll know soon enough if you do your job right," and turned around, muttering between his teeth, and Erwin caught a slightly clear '...wait to get my hands on that fucker.' Erwin couldn't help but mentally scoff as well. Another officer replaced the older man, slightly more resourseful.

"We will lead you to their expected location. We arranged for a cargo transportation that is just likely to be raided by them. These rats are fast, as you can imagine. From then on, you're on your own."

Mike was a bit more than happy to hear that.

.

And so it was, the first meeting with whom might one day kill Erwin, or whom might help save Humanity from oblivion.

The quick glance from the other day hadn't betrayed Erwin. As he saw the man ambushed by Mike, holding his ground despite the impact and expertly fight the far taller and stronger adversary, he recognized the undercut dark hair and small body structure. He managed to disarm Mike of one blade, and spinned the knife on his hand for a blow he might have laid countless times before, only this time it met Erwin's blade in the way.

For the first time he was face to face with the sharp eyes and scowled pale expression of this Underground famous criminal.

He quickly regained the balance Erwin had taken off with the impact on his blades and averted Erwin's attack time and again until he charged against the smaller man. His size hid a force to take note of, as their arms clashed against each other to avoid the blades, both of them holding the other on a grip. The man locked Erwin's shirtcuff and wrist and kept it just away from his shoulder, and Erwin tightened his hand over a thin wrist that still tried to push forward the hand and the knife on it. More than anything, the man seemed annoyed Erwin was turning out a stronger opponent than anticipated, but gave no indication of fear or backing down despite what their striking height differance might have hinted. From his end, Erwin would feel silently impressed after he had removed the threat of the weapon out of the way.

"Look around you." It wasn't meant as a distraction, but the criminal didn't let his guard down either way as he too heard the loud complaints of a young woman. Even as his eyes turned to Erwin's two squad members carrying the other two thugs in chains, he didn't create a gap Erwin could have used to hit him. The woman kept lashing and kicking at her capturer and the other man said something to her. Odds as they were, the outcome was obvious, and even though Mike would put a decisive end on the clash, Erwin guessed correctly that this man in front of him could still insist in fighting.

As it was, his friends were captured already. Loyalty (or some other reason) turned his expression into hate as his eyes turned back to Erwin, and even though his jaw hardened in rage, he let out a resigned snort and opened his hand, knife slipping and falling from his grip. Erwin waited a second after it screeched on impact before he relaxed and loosened the hold on the man's wrist slightly. He held his arms up in surrender, but that was the angriest surrender expression Erwin had seen so far.

Erwin let go of him when Mike was already behind the man, shackles ready to be locked. The criminal didn't remove that hatred off his eyes as Mike forced his arms down and behind his back. Despite the still loud protests of his partners, now that the situation was calmer, Erwin analysed the man in front of him; he probably fit the mental musings of how an Underground resident might look like. Had he not just been fighting with him, Erwin would almost think Mike's rough strength would be unecessary. The man's height and paleness suggested a malnourishment that enhanced the dark circles under his eyes. It would make someone kindhearted like Marie act in compassion rather than disgust. Yet, that silent hatred was striking.

"Hey, hands off!" the woman yelled as Mike pushed the thug leader forward, and together with the help of the other squad member, started to remove the 3DMG off. "That's ours! You scum from up ground just wanna grab us around, huh?!"

"No, we want to recover stolen equipment," his squad member pointed out, in a tone that suggested that accusation had already been made before. As it was a military woman saying that, it should have calmed the younger one, but apparently it had little impact. Erwin quietly watched as the two thugs were forced on their knees a little further ahead, the young woman still protesting not over the treatment she was getting but over Mike and the squad member as they unfasted the 3DMG gear in rough pulls. The leader wasn't resisting, but the silent rage remained as he was stripped of the gear.

This remained when Mike pulled him down with a massive hand over his shoulder, making him kneel next to his partners. The blond thug snarled an empty threat and the woman was quite vocal on hers, but the leader continued silent. For someone whom, as far as he knew, was expecting to be handed over to the Military Police to await torture before eventual death, he wasn't resisting as the woman had been. Either if it was stubborn resilience or a cold superiority, Erwin took mental note of it.

His squad surrounded the three captives while Erwin calmly walked and stopped in front of them, a puddle of sewer water standing between them. He knew Mike's thinking on the matter at hands. He wondered for a second how young those three were. Most likely deceivingly younger than they really were, still, the woman was surely still but a teenager.

"You three," he began, looking down at them. The action made the blond man snarl and snort, averting his eyes another way in defiance. The angry scowl on the young woman's face held little similarity with the one the leader had before, while the leader presently didn't even bother to look at Erwin. He picked up one of the 3DMG equipments and turned to them. "I have some questions for you. Where did you get your hands on this?"

The reply he got was silence and distant echoes of the daily lives on the further streets.

"Your maneouvering skills were admirable. Who taught you? Did you receive military training?"

The blond thug snarled quietly. While Erwin had read the small reports, the most likely scenario seemed to be that a member of the Military Police had taught them how to use 3DMG and used them as muscle for personal petty theft. That would lead to some appropriate investigation in search of the insurgent, but it wasn't really his problem. Still, he was tasked to know.

Erwin's eyes went from the blond to the leader, and stepped in front of the man.

"You're the leader, aren't you. Your skills are impressive." Like before, it wasn't meant as a distraction or fake statement. The man didn't react. "Did you receive military training?"

Not a snarl, but a glare came from beneath the bangs of hair over his face. It almost made Erwin smile; it was quite impressive. There was no fear. Last thing that man wanted to be was a military. It was his choice.

"That is the face of someone who wants to kill me and escape." And he was sure it would be so if given the chance.

Erwin turned his eyes to Mike. "I'd rather not use any rough treatment if I can..." But whether it was stubborn resilience or cold superiority, he would know.

Mike locked a fist on the man's hair and pulled his head back roughly, forcing him to face Erwin before shoving him down into the sewer water on the ground.

It took his partners one full second before realising what happened, their expressions wide.

"Hey!"

"You bastard!"

"I'll ask again," he said over the protests and the man's pained grunt, not minding them and focused on the man that turned his face the most he could. He was barely able to keep his mouth off the water and his teeth clenched as he looked at Erwin. Erwin expected him to be bleeding from the hit and a bruise to develop later.

"Who do you think you are, you bastard! Get your hands off him! You can't do that!"

"Fucking military, thinking you can kick us around just because you have an uniform!"

From their reaction, the partners didn't seem to process this would hardly be what the MPs would likely do to them if caught.

"Where did you learn to use 3DMG?" The leader just clenched his teeth harder. His fists were shut tight and he had turned one of his legs in reflex to support him if Mike tried to do the same attack again, but that was polished survival instinct. There was no fear, unlike his friends. Resilience.

"We learned by ourselves, ok?" The blond thug gave in. "No one taught us, we just learned to survive in this dump."

"Self-taught? I don't buy it."

"You fuckers from up ground wouldn't know," he hissed back. Erwin blinked in consideration and turned back down at the leader. Self-taught? With that amount of skill? He would best Mike if he had the chance to receive proper training. The other two as well, recruits under training took a long time to use it with the ease these thugs displayed.

Mike looked at Erwin, skeptic and expecting some order in retaliation.

"My name is Erwin Smith," he said instead, speaking directly to the leader though he should have adressed all three. "What is your name?"

Met with no reply, Mike gave the silent snort Erwin had witnessed before when he faced basic defiances. He pushed the leader's head back again and this time threw it face down into the water, holding him down. Erwin waited, watching the man try to get up effortlessly using his knee as leverage. Mike noted it and pushed him down harder before shoving him back up, gasping sharply several times and coughing out the dirt water over his lips. Mike pinned him and forced him to lay down, but pulled his hair and head back uncomfortably. The moment the man opened his eyes, Erwin was met with greater hatred than before. He would have a blade shoved at his neck sooner rather than later, and how fast the man would sink it in would not be subject to speculation.

Erwin admired that amount of resiliance, even if it meant the source was his own death wish.

"Your determination is applausable." Might as well test if really was loyalty that had made him back down before. "But if you keep that up, we'll move on to your friends."

The two other squad members nodded and moved towards the thugs. The young woman cursed and hissed, daring them to touch her, and the blond thug looked at the leader.

Erwin guessed the first word he would hear at last would be 'bastard', which would be an improvement.

"Fuck you, bastard."

Close enough.

"What is your name?"

The man spit dirt off him emphatically, drips of the soiled water still falling from his hair as he looked at Erwin. His face was smudged and dripping water. A small cut next to his eyebrow had blood peeking through and his cheek was reddened with dirt glued to it, soon to be bruised. He grunted when Mike pulled his head back again so he could see the squad members pull out their swords and approaching them at the two thugs.

"What is your name?"

"...Levi. It's Levi."

Loyalty, resilience and skill. Strong bedrock values. Had he been born above ground, he might have been a military for a while now.

Erwin nodded at Mike, who released the man. Levi grunted again when the hand that had shoved him to the water now held him by the back of the shirt and pulled him up to his knees. Erwin approached while he threw his head to the side and tried to get more dirt off his face and hair, something that was apparently bothering him a lot. He did see Erwin getting close, stepping into the puddle of sewer water, but his brow softened in surprise when the military kneeled down in front of him.

"Would you make a deal with me?"

Levi blinked, a slight shadow of confusion over him, but not unlike Mike, skeptical frown appearing.

"Deal?"

"You won't be charged of any of your crimes. I don't care about them. In exchange, you lend me your strength and join the Survey Corps."

Levi stared at him, his head turned slightly up. To turn into a military was something this man did not want, and his expression now was proof of superiority over the rank and status.

"And if I refuse?"

"I'll hand you to the Military Police," he replied simply. "With the crimes you're charged with, you and your partners can't expect decent treatment."

"You're telling _us_ that?" the blond thug howled. "You're not really giving a choice, you're saying we either go with you to die or die sooner at their hands."

That is a choice.

"Says a lot about you, to hand us to those pigs," the girl added. The blond man exchanged looks with Levi, and Erwin saw it.

Levi turned back to Erwin, his head lift back up again, same expression of disgusted superiority. Either over the military in general, or over Erwin, who was playing into the plan they had; probably both. Erwin was sure Lobov had contacted these three. They had been instructed with a task that certainly involved the documents Erwin had against Lobov - and to get rid of him next. So they expected some form of contact between Erwin and them. Lobov was aware of Erwin's request to come to the Underground and fetch the three thugs that knew how to use 3DMG. Everything fell in place, and it was going according to what these three Underground criminals expected.

Levi wouldn't be a real military. He would act according to what Lobov wanted and play the part, while continuing to be the same criminal he had grown up to be. Erwin probably gave him a lot more personal reasons to be killed either way.

And he never really _wanted_ to be a military. He spit more water to the side and that was roughly what he really thought of Erwin's proposition. But he acted, following orders. It was his choice.

Because there was a choice. It could have ended, both Lobov's plan and Erwin's gamble. Underground cemetary or sky high with real wings. Choice, one after another, hoping it wouldn't be the worst outcome and wouldn't regret it.

"Very well. I'll join the Survey Corps."

Erwin chose to smile then, and lift himself up, soiled water coating his knees and boots and dripping down. He then held Levi's shirt, something he probably didn't like at all, not to force but to help him up his feet. He was far from the weight of a military, living malnourished down here, but he had strength hidden in his body.

Levi's expression didn't soften from what had been that first silent burning rage, and he probably promised, vowed, to kill him as Erwin helped him stand up. Worst outcome for Erwin, best for Levi.

"You recruit your people after you put them in chains?"

"No. Just you. If you're not careful, that'll turn into quite a tale."

 

.

 

_Choices led us here. Dreams, wishes, skill and chance, but ultimately, choices._

_Choices that led to death, choices that led to change, choices that led to striving and strifing forward. All to get here._

_Kneeled down in opposite places now, opposite promises made. At the end, the outcome the same, but it wasn't the worst outcome._

_Not for me._

_And it was our choice._

_Thank you, Levi._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How things start, and how things end. Goodbye, Commander.  
> I'm waiting for Levi to die now, Isayama, after I wanted them to die together. Do your worst and thank you for what you've made so far.  
> I wrote that last part listening to 'Beautiful Crime's end part by Tamer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One year later and I finally update the chapter I wanted to. I guess this is a sign of hope for all my ongoing fics! Ah. It's already October 14 here, so.
> 
> This is Levi's counterpart, with more original content than the previous chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: Do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

Everything went how it was supposed to. He knew that being captured had its associated and inevitable annoyance, but Levi wasn't the slightest bit resigned or satisfied with the outcome. 

 

Erwin Smith.

Son of a bitch. Levi would make him hurt. Lobov wanted the documents, and supposedly it would be _"quickly and quietly, in some guise on the right opportunity"_. Farlan's words, as if he didn't know. They'd study routines, layouts, most likely places to hide the documents and find the best circumstances to finish the man.

Qiuckly and quiet or not, the blond bastard would hurt.

"Will you hurry up already?" the MP complained loudly. He had retorted everything: the order for them to be uncuffed; their escort being reduced just to five; Levi's demand to wash the sewer water that was making his skin crawl and reducing his breaths to short hisses.

He still had that disgusting taste in his mouth, but he knew he wouldn't be washing it down anytime soon. Levi splashed a last handful of water to his hair, feeling the drops fall over the cut on his forehead and the bruise throbbing on his cheek. He cleaned the cut as best as he could. It wasn't like it was too deep, but that wasn't the issue. His shoulders were stinging just as uncomfortably, thanks to all the awkward and forced pulls the mustache-fucker had graced on him. He was ignoring the sting on his scalp by now.

A small list of annoyances.

He dried his face on a small portion of his shirt that wasn't muddy, twisting the fabric around his waist to find a clean spot. He just wished he had a towel he could throw at the complaining MP and see his stupid face bloat in offence.

Levi might as well have actually done it, because the glare he shot at the MP seemed to strike a nerve just the same, and the man snarled to defend his shitty honor.

Plan be damned, he just wanted to punch someone.

"Are you done?" The titan-sized fucker intervined instead, watching the scene unfold from his end and correctly guessing where this was going for. Levi shot him an even more poisonous glare, which met no reaction whatsoever.

"These thugs should be handcuffed. Chained and leashed," the MP complained for everyone to hear. "You people from above ground don't know how to deal with these gutter rats."

"Seeing as we're the ones that got them, I think we'll manage."

The MP might as well have been struck by the titan-sized fucker too. Levi raised an eyebrow slightly.

"They'd kill us given the smallest chance," the MP spat, and wasn't that far off the mark indeed. Levi was quickly scanning the man's equipment to find the smallest sharp object he could use as a weapon and how fast he could get the giant with it. But yes, the plan. Opportunities and whatnot. Some targets were more pressing than others.

"They're Survey Corps. They're to be treated as such," the fucker replied simply. He  _had_  been the one to authorize Levi to wash, implying the smell was affecting him more than it was bothering Levi. But of course they weren't stupid. Farlan and Isabel were outside the MPs cabinet, with their own escorts from that Survey squad that cornered them earlier, and Levi had this titan fucker to keep him under his watch.

The MPs that hadn't witnessed the capture - which was all of them, but some were already gossiping like it was the greatest thing ever - felt more secure by seeing a man like that escorting a criminal like Levi. The sheer size difference assured them they wouldn't be met with some 'gutter rat' maneuver. It wasn't like an underfed thug that size could beat a soldier twice his built.

Levi snarled internally at the thought. The MPs hadn't seen the fight. Levi could have killed, or at the very least severely injured the titan-sized fucker, had not a second person intervened. Two against one at the end of the score. Says a lot about their methods and about their opinion on Levi's strength.

That fucker Smith.

.

The three of them weren't allowed to speak to each other on their way up the stairs. Not that Isabel hadn't tried, but one of the Survey Corps soldiers threatened to separate the group and take Isabel on an escort later. That drove a few yells out of the girl before Farlan and Levi calmed her down and told her to obey.

The Smith fucker wasn't with them. Supposedly he had moved ahead to talk with the MPs or deal with some other military burocratic shit Levi wasn't interested in. Whatever it was, their group seemed to be clear in all the control checkpoints they passed by, all those barries to keep people locked underground now clearing up so effortlessly for them to pass.

He blocked all the snarls and barks of the MP threw at them, as he ignored most of the realization that this might be the last time he saw the Underground and everything he had known. Maybe Farlan had some of those thoughts. Isabel didn't seem one to wander on it too long.

Levi, he didn't bother to think. It was an accomplishment he had gained with too much hard work - he didn't really have to acknowledge something that was already there pretty much since he could remember.  _'I'm never gonna return to this shithole. So there's no way Erwin Smith will stay alive.'_

After the last control point, they turned on a couple of corridors and saw the familiar quivering light from the torches on the wall start to be replaced and washed by a stranger, lighter and whiter glow that pierced through an entrance further ahead. Levi turned his eyes to Isabel, who had paced a bit faster, recognizing the distinct type of light. She was the first to turn the corner to the last row of steps and he saw as she moved her hands in reflex to protect her eyes.

Levi was suddenly grateful they weren't uncuffed for a whole different number of reasons. He knew it would be bright, but it was different from when the three of them visited the crevice where the sky peeked to the Underground. He couldn't lift his eyes from the stairs more than a couple of seconds, even with his eyes squinted and his hand shielding his face. The top of the staircase was just a white blur, with some shapes of what he assumed would be buildings and houses being swallowed by the light. There should be blue up there, but he could hardly see it. There were no cavern walls to blockthe light there, it was just... open.

"Step to," one of the Survey Corps escorts said, clever enough to not shove him and put their arm within reach. "You'll get used to the light soon enough."

"Actually, it's pretty normal. And may take a while," the mustached fucker said, out of nowhere. Levi couldn't and didn't want to bother turn his head up to look at him, but he knew the man was now addressing him. "You. You've like what, turned 20? Even if you've seen sunlight before, it's definitely not like it'll be from now on."

After almost three decades, Levi was finally out of the Underground.

.

It wasn't long before he saw the Wall. They were told they'd be moved to the HQ in Sina (So that was Wall Sina) and wait there. So although not immediately and not as literally as the Undeground walls, that Wall blocked the sun and sky in its own way.

Levi had never seen something so big - it was hard to try to see the top, with the sun blinding him. Those houses he could spot closer to the base of the Wall would probably have an almost similar experience to what it was to live with sunlight blocked. It was hard to imagine something bigger than that bigass wall. As tall as the titans might be, they couldn't surpass  _that_. A breach, however, seemed somehow more plausible, even though he didn't know how thick that thing was supposed to be. If it was possible, then this whole place would just turn into an open-sky shithole of its own - people couldn't run anywhere, except underground.

He had enough time for another musing: what was beyond that? There were three Walls, yeah, but after that last one? Titan wasteland? What would that look like? The only thing he could guess, while in the process of seeing all the new things above ground, was that that wasteland would have no boundaries on the sky - no more walls.

Well, he'd find out soon enough.

All those thoughts, however, soon stopped to distract him when the straining increased. He tried to focus back on them, but it grew increasingly harder as the weight on his head turned into dizziness. Levi was fully aware of how his body wavered, the lightheadedness starting to claw nausea into him. It wasn't too hot, there was even a soft breeze that the damn dizziness wasn't allowing him to enjoy. But Levi felt warm and touching his scalp proved he was burning - it wasn't his hands that were hot, it was his skull. He didn't have a fever, that much he knew, or thought he did, but it was obvious he wasn't alright.

"We shouldn't be in the sun," he said simply. It had to be that.

"I'm glad you said it," Farlan's voice was dragged. Levi turned to him and immediately regretted it - the world just spinned sickly around him. "I was afraid to open my mouth and puke."

The possibility of being seen by a military doctor - or any doctor - didn't please him before, but even less so now. There wasn't that much of a shade on the courtyard they were told to wait in; the titan-sized fucker did warn them about it when he moved ahead of them. His escort wasn't as necessary when the three of them were unarmed in the middle of a fucking military HQ.

"Big brother... I'm not feeling well either," Isabel said quietly. "If we're all sick..."

"It's the sun," he repeated, but it didn't really solve anything. Moving would. "We need to get out of the sun."

Farlan wavered, covering his mouth and eyes shut tight in pain.

"Seriously, I'm gonna be sick."

"Is everything alright?"

Levi didn't turn this time, but he should have. The voice belonged to a newcomer, and he knew just whom. Why was he even there?

"Why are you standing in the sun? Are you feeling alright?"

Farlan tried to reply, but ended up deciding against it, too afraid to move and shake his head past a breaking point.

"We were told to wait," Isabel tried instead, and when Smith turned to her, a grimace grew on her face. That was when Levi saw she was bleeding, her face marbled by thick red trails coming from her nose, and his heart skipped a beat.

"Isabel," he stepped to her, and his body failed under him. Smith's huge hands held him up, forcing him to face the blond's.

"You're bleeding too."

"What?" By reflex, Levi raised his hand to his face. It returned red, and suddenly he realized he could feel the blood dripping over his lips.

"You need to go to a doctor."

"Get the fuck off me," he snarled at Smith, but was ignored. Trying to move his head up wavered the whole fucking courtyard around him, and the man only tighened his grip around his arm to hold him straight.

Smith ended up doing as he was told when Isabel bent over and puked. The man picked her up like a ragdoll on his arms and shouted a command to someone neither of them could see, the sound of his voice making Levi shudder. He wasn't expecting the sun to literally make them sick. It was bad enough for him to not properly shove off the cadet shithead that clasped onto him and made him move.

.

"Heat stroke?"

"Something of the sort. It's not nearly the temperature for it nor did they spend the normal amount of time under the typical conditions, but we're not talking about normal citizens here. Their bodies are reacting how they would under a long sun exposition."

"We were for a while..." Isabel tried, before the doctor signaled the sickly sweet tea again and more or less raised the cup to her mouth to not allow room for question.

"Any while would be too much. Direct sunlight exposition under these conditions will raise your body temperature too much, specially on your head. Nausea, vertigo and dizziness, strong headaches, loss of conciousnesss. Nosebleed is already a bad sign, and in your case, it also resulted in vomiting."

"So what are we supposed to do?"

"I can't say this in other simpler words. Your bodies are not used to sunlight."

"Yeah, we got it already. Lack of sun doesn't make us deaf," Levi spat back, eyeing the two militarymen. The doctor was in his work place, but the Smith fucker was meddling. He was just standing there. Why the fuck would he be standing there like a giant stupid nurse? "You're not our escort here."

Smith looked at Levi without replying, and simply kept ignoring his words.

"Are they stable then?"

"Their temperature's normal already. The dizziness may remain for a while longer. When was the last time you've ate?"

Farlan was holding the cloth to his nose, stanching the mild bleeding and looking at both men with a desoriented expression. He exchanged looks with Levi.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" He knew very well, but his dizziness could excuse the stupid question.

"Weakness together with heat stroke is recipe for disaster. Here," the doctor didn't stall longer for an answer and just picked a supply of sugar bread he probably had for similar situations, stuffing one on each of their hands. "Eat. You, girl, can't eat the whole thing or your stomach will turn. You'll have a stabler diet here, and that will help. You need to keep in mind, you have to get used to sunlight boiling your brain."

The doctor at least was one to go straight to the point without stalling with stupid word play.

"While you're here, I best get all your vitals properly noted." He really didn't stall. Although all he did was pick a clipboard and turn in his direction, Levi took an immediate step back. Something that did catch both militarymen's attention. "This is normal procedure, and only for your benefit. You already dodged me checking for your damn nosebleed. It's in everyone's interest if you're properly attended rather than have you pass out from weakness and exhaustion midtraining."

"He fought both Mike and myself," the Smith fucker replied out of nowhere. The doctor now turned to him, eyebrows high. He didn't seem the type of man to be easily surprised, and yet those words had managed to do it.

"Fought?"

"Says a lot about his strength, seeing as it took the two of us together to halt him."

Levi glared at the man.

"I'm impressed," the doctor admitted. "You look malnourished. But all the more reason to write down your medical information. And how is your headache by now?"

"I'm fine. I don't want no doctor near me."

"That's a shame, because you are neither fine nor will I let you leave before you're completely stable. I won't know that if I don't examine you."

"We'll do it, okay?" Farlan intervened suddenly, recalling everyone that he was there as well. He was glaring at Levi, the sickly pale tone of his face enhancing the seriousness of it. "We know militarymen have to do this. But no one likes or trusts doctors where we come from."

Both men were focused on him again. It made his fucking skin crawl.

"I imagine so."

.

Training would begin the next day. They had expected the soldiers (fuck he hated that word already. Military be damned) to push whatever procedures they had with new recruits after they went through that presentation earlier, but thanks to the incident in the courtyard, the doctor had apparently adviced - or prescribed in big bold letters - some adaptation time before they were to be put in the ranks like the rest.

Levi wasn't too pleased. After the day's events, he wanted little else than get 3DMG back on and slice something, even if it would make his head feel like it would roll off his shoulders.

"I'm getting better, at least," Farlan comment, stripping the brown jacket off. "Your head's better?"

"Yeah," Levi removed the jacket too and folded it tightly. His hands moved in reflex to his shirt collar and pulled them up like usual, only this time Farlan shot him a warning look.

"Don't wear them like that here. You've already made an impression at the presentation. The doctor's didn't help much either. You'll get even more eyes on us if you don't do as they say."

"My shirt collar will atract more attention than the fact we're criminals from the Underground? Sure," Levi snorted, readjusting the already perfectly-stiff collar just to make his point.

Farlan mimicked his snort and got hold of his shirt, lowering the collar to their normal place.

"Seriously, it's not that much, and it's one thing in our favor."

"I don't kiss anyone's ass, Farlan," Levi recalled, evading the other man's grasp swiftly.

"Yeah, but they're military. You have to compromise something. Like tomorrow, during the training."

That was pushing it almost as much as invading his personal space and arrange his shirt.

"If you really think I'm gonna let some prick tell me how to use 3DMG, you have another thing coming."

"We _haven't_  fought titans yet."

"I don't plan to fight titans for long either way. "

"All the more reason to compromise and not go head to head with that Flagon guy if he-"

"They want to kill titans, they can try and learn how I do it. Otherwise they can get off my back."

"And stop eye-stabbing the Smith one."

.

In little more than 24 hours, they learned a fair bit of the upper world, or more precisely and fairly, about the Survey Crops' world. They seemed to have a dynamic of their own, and it was rather simple when you got down to it.

"While everyone else slacks off and tries to steal their share of profit, these guys just train to get themselves killed," Farlan summarized his thoughts over dinner, the following night. The three of them were sitting on the further end of a table row, with enough privacy to talk and enough background noise to not be easily overheard.

"I think they aren't fully bad," Isabel said, slurping her bowl happily. "I know we've just got here, and some are stupid. And stupid using 3DMG. But most of them are cool. I was surprised with the doctor yesterday. He actually seemed to care, in a rough way, but he did. And look at all the food they gave us!"

The food part was one Levi couldn't argue with. He heard some casual complaints from the other recruits, which he guessed were commonplace regarding rations and military messroom, but he was satisfied. None of those bastards knew much about hunger.

"Yeah, but just one day in, and I can already tell these guys are deadset on their missions, and all their missions are ultimate suicides. I don't want to kill myself with a titan's help," Farlan whispered. "They probably don't have time to think on much else. I bet they don't even get laid."

"It's not like we have that much diversion Underground, Farlan," Isabel noted, frowning. "We have to worry about getting food and money every day. They focus on their missions to save humanity or whatever it is. It's not that different if you think about it."

"She's not wrong," Levi agreed before Farlan could argue, eating two spoonful of his soup. He hadn't tasted one so consistent in a long time.

"I... well, either way," Farlan continued, brushing the lack of support aside with a casual wave, but Isabel hadn't finish.

"Though I can't really imagine someone like that mustache giant getting laid."

Farlan choked on something, while Levi reacted a bit more gracefully for once.

"Isabel!"

"What? You're the one that brought it up!"

Again, she wasn't wrong.

The comment hadn't been as random as it appeared to. The guy in question was walking towards the tables holding a mess kit, passing by a parallel row and stopping at a table a few meters ahead from theirs. He was sniffing the air as he walked, like Levi caught him do several times when they were getting out of the Underground. These above ground fuckers had little else than height - they were all fucked up in the head.

"As I was saying," Farlan's voice brought him back. "What I really meant to say if that they are vastly unprepared and I wouldn't want to be here long if I chose to."

"In a week's time we start?"

"I'll start to know the layout sooner," Farlan replied, his words muffled as he pretended to drink water. "I'll know the place soon."

"The routines seem rather simple too."

"One thing we just can't forget is to lay low and, like I said, be nice," Farlan added to Levi.

Isabel saved him from replying to Farlan, "We're better than many of the people they have here. We can do this, easy. And they'll take us out on their next expedition out the walls. I want to see it out there."

"I want to see the sky out there," Levi said, thinking back on the Wall and what he was trying to imagine before the sun had driven his head into sickening vertigo.

"Good evening."

Levi's thoughts got interrupted. He begrundgingly looked up, his face unable to mask his annoyance, even less so when he confirmed it was the Smith fucker.

"Good evening," Farlan replied, cautious. They hadn't been overheard, but they had no reason to act all friendly and happy for being here - not even Farlan, even if he elected to play a role.

"How are you all feeling?" Smith asked, looking at all of them, but like during the Underground heist, focused on Levi and taking him as the spokesman of the group. Levi, who only told him his name after the two fuckers made their point in proving they were military and could do whatever the fuck they wanted to - smart one, that Smith.

Had the soup not been this good, Levi wouldn't have fought the urge to spit.

"You go ask every new guy here how they're feeling?"

Farlan shot him an immediate warning look, but the Smith fucker didn't seem fazed.

"Not every new guy here enters hyperthermia after thirty minutes under the sun."

The tone forced Levi to look up again, the glare too clear and enhanced to be mistaken as his normal expression.

"We're not weak," Isabel replied instead, before Levi could lose his inner battle and expressing the loeast amount of rage between the two.

"That was not my point. I'm sorry. That could not be more different from my opinion of you three." Again, he spoke to all of them before averting back to the same spokesperson. "It should have been common sense not to leave you under those conditions right after getting out of the Underground. But I imagine few even bother to think how it must be to live without direct sunlight for years, under the circumstances you have."

And _he_  thought about it?

"It's impressive to say the least. You've started training this afternoon?"

"We're all feeling well. Better, at least. It's all a matter of adapting."

"Your physical resistence is praise worthy. I truly admire your skill. Adding to your background and the fact you have to adapt to sunlight at the same time, it's remarkable. Benefits of youth you really have to seize. If I may ask, you're in your twenties? Less, perhaps?"

Twice in two days was twice too fucking many. He was addressing the three of them again, and he might be right on Isabel's case, but the whole subject of conversation just made Levi scoff, and no glare from Farlan could stop that.

"Yeah, keep guessing."

Isabel looked at him too, joining that not-too-subtle group of stares. To anyone in the Underground, that reply was a very clear sign to back the fuck down. To Smith, he only seemed amused. Those questions would make one question how much Smith paid intelligence, but Levi saw through him on the Underground - stupid was the last adjective to use on this man. Why act so interested, as if they had joined voluntarily, or at least under a normal recruitement? They were captured. Without knowing the whole picture, that much was enough for the blond fucker to know they didn't want to bothered.

Or if it was all a trick, and he just wanted to wind them up. Was the fucker playing with them?

"I'll take it you aren't as young as you seem, then."

"Appearances deceive."

"Not all of them."

Levi glared at the man, again. Smith wasn't smiling, but the tone was so joyful, he might as well be.

"Let's see if you don't get disappointed."

"I highly doubt it."

He'd see if he got disappointed when Levi ripped his fucking throat out. And they still had time for some inventive additions before that.

Before any of them could say the blond fucker was pestering (apparently Levi would have to be the one to state the fucking obvious), the man spoke:

"I apologize for interrupting your dinner. See you tomorrow." And this time the fucker was smiling.

He carried on without any other word, joining the other titan guy on the table some rows ahead. To his credit, the titan-guy's forehead was frowned with apprehension.

After he made sure the Smith fucker was fully installed on his table, Levi returned his gaze and attention back to his own table and to Farlan.

"Satisfied?"

Farlan barely gaped, just mumbled and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Can you just try to keep us all alive for like a month? Don't push our luck more than we already do and just try to make it so less damn obvious you want to rip the guy's throat!"

Well, apparently is was obvious. He'd work on that.

"There's a lot of ways to do it. I'll keep thinking then."

"That's not the issue, don't play coy with me."

"You'll have your chance, big brother," Isabel supported, her voice low. "But we've seen how he is. Try not to give him reason to suspect you. I don't want to see him hurt you again."

Levi stared at the man's back. No, indeed she wouldn't see it again.

"That won't happen."

.

_You deserved more, but at least you're finally resting. Is that what this is about?_

_Did you plan this decision too, or did you really leave this on my hands?_

_It was always a choice, choices we hoped we didn't regret later._

_I'm not so sure who is the one I won't forgive._

_Because it was our choice._

_Goodbye, Erwin._

_._

 

_the end_

_._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to write something on the sun affecting Underground folks. I've gotten sick returning outside after 3 days without sunlight, and get affected too often, so I could never shake the thought of how people living without direct sunlight for decades would react.
> 
> Thank you for reading, comments/feedback and corrections to English are appreciated.


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